Scraping the jar: why exhausted isn't effective

Hello, and welcome to the latest issue of The Leadership Investor. I’m delighted you’re here. I’ve shifted the newsletter from weekly to biweekly, at least for now. If you crave it more often, tell me. If the biweekly rhythm is working, I’d love to hear that, too. Thanks in advance!

OK! Let’s dive into this week’s insights.

There’s a moment after a big push that nobody really prepares you for.

The adrenaline fades. The momentum slows. The inbox is still there, the expectations haven’t changed, but your energy quietly… drops.

That was me after my book launch on March 17th - the result of two years of writing, wrestling, and wondering.

I rode the wave. I showed up, dressed in green. I delivered two delightful launch Zooms and responded to emails and posts and phone calls. And then I hit a wall.

Not in a dramatic, crash-and-burn way, but quieter and more subtle. I struggled to focus. Everything felt heavier than it should. The simplest tasks required extra effort. I felt like a deflated exercise ball that could no longer support weight.

And my instinct, the one most of us have been trained into, was to push through it.

Because somewhere along the way, we decided that resilience means endurance. That being strong means powering through, and that if we just keep going, we’ll eventually get to the other side. We can rest later.

It reminds me of those little wind-up toys. You crank them up, set them down, and they just go. Straight ahead, without awareness or adjustment. Just motion. Until they hit the wall.

That’s how I tend to operate. But that’s not resilience. That’s depletion, dressed up to look productive. And WOWZA, I’ve felt depleted.

Real resilience is knowing when to stop winding the toy. It’s noticing the early signs before the crash. It’s stepping back before you have no choice. It’s recognizing that outcomes matter far more than the visible churn of activity.

Maybe, as you read this, you’re scraping the wall right now. Maybe you’ve been knocked onto your back. That’s OK - enjoy the rest. Your only job right now is to recover, recharge, and return to your upright state a bit savvier.

Because more walls await. And we need you fully wound and ready to move.

Developing Your Business Leaders: A Guide to Investing at All Levels is officially in the world! Friends and colleagues have proudly shared selfies with the book. Sales are brisk. And, per above, I’m recovering from the adrenaline overload.

But the fun doesn’t end with the publication date. I’ve shifted into marketing overdrive to share the book’s message that leadership development is not an activity or program, but an investment. (Cue the mic drop.)

I’m especially grateful for opportunities to be interviewed on podcasts. This week, I’ll be answering one question in 60 seconds. (I’ll share the link on LinkedIn.) Here’s the sneak peek:

Question: In your book, you make the case for investing in leaders at all levels. If someone is starting from scratch, where should they focus first to get real traction?

Start small and start somewhere - specifically, where leadership most directly affects business success. You must be able to connect the dots between the investment you’re making in leaders with an operational return.

Don’t try to build a full leadership program out of the gate. Pick one level of leader where better leadership would immediately move the business. For most organizations, that’s frontline managers.

Then get very specific about what success looks like in that role. Not generic competencies. What do you need them to do more of, less of, or differently?

And here’s where people miss it. Development isn’t just training. It’s how you hire, how you onboard, how you set goals, how you give feedback.

If you align even two or three of those talent processes around the same expectations, you start to see traction fast.

As a leadership investor, you can’t do it all. Nor should you. Be strategic, be intentional, and remember that it’s about the business, not about you.

Invest in ways that will achieve a return so you’ll be invited to invest again.

I’ll be on several stages these next few months, beginning with my facilitation of a full-day offsite for the division of a regional municipal organization.

I love supporting offsites, and have led them everywhere - from hotel ballrooms to flower shops, at country clubs and at woodland retreats. Even dressed as a Jedi.

Because Jedis are teachers, I’m going to share some wisdom to position your next offsite for success. (And maybe deepen your connection with the Force.)

Drum roll, please. Introducing - the 5-S framework.

We start with strategy, because if you are not clear on why you are bringing people together and what outcome you are driving, your audience will not engage, behaviors will not change, and knowledge will not be retained. I include a “why” slide in every presentation - and ideally get a business leader to describe it, grounding everyone in a shared outcome.

From there, we build the structure. Not just an agenda, but a flow. How people enter the space, how they engage, how energy builds and resets, and how you actually land the work so it does not disappear the second people walk out the door. This upcoming offsite features a mix of movement and sitting, group activities and table discussions, report outs and individual reflection.

We layer in simplicity. The instinct is to add more - content, activities, discussion. In reality, less creates space for thinking, and thinking is where the value is. Give your offsite breathing room. Coco Chanel recommended women remove one accessory before leaving the house - because we’ve likely layered on too many. Good advice for fashion - and facilitation. And speaking of facilitation…

We ensure the right support is in place, because facilitation is a skill. If you are trying to lead the conversation and manage the room at the same time, you are not doing either particularly well. Clarify roles and responsibilities and get the help you need to manage activities, take notes, and watch the clock.

And finally, a sense of humor. Because things will go sideways. Technology will fail. Timing will slip. And how you respond in those moments matters more than the disruption itself. People remember and appreciate graceful recoveries.

Be intentional with your next offsite. Avoid the crash and burn that comes with an over-packed, under-supported event. Use the Force…and the 5-Ss.

I met a friend for coffee this week and had one of those conversations that moves easily between life and work. Family dynamics, organizational politics, and the stuff in between.

Halfway through our lattes, we unpacked our tarot cards. (Did I mention I met this friend through my tarot class nearly 15 years ago?)

Tarot is not fortune telling. It’s a tool for reflection, a structured way to surface what we already know but have not quite articulated. Through visual prompts, the cards can jumpstart our intuition and give us a nudge toward meaning-making.

We each chose a question. She asked about a challenging relationship with a sibling. I asked about the exhaustion I was feeling after the book launch.

We chose our cards.

She pulled the King of Wands.

My immediate reaction - “You are trying to carry something that is not yours to carry. You can influence, you can empathize, you can stand in your own power. But you cannot take responsibility for someone else’s choices.”

It might be frustrating, but it’s not failure. It’s reality. And she heard the message.

I pulled the Queen of Cups.

Her response was equally immediate. (We’ve been reading cards together for a long time.) “You need care. Real care. Not the Tina ‘I’ll rest for an hour and be fine’ kind of care. You need nurturing, and you are best positioned to give it to yourself.”

Umm. Yes. See the opening of this newsletter.

Is tarot magic? If we define magic as desire made real, then yes.

We wanted clarity, validation, and a path. The cards delivered, giving us permission to say what we already knew out loud and reminding us that we ARE strong in the Force if we just listen to our deepest needs and honor our highest wisdom.

If you want to try this without a deck of cards, here are three questions to sit with:

Rest. Recovery. Reflection. Resilience. As leaders, it’s easy to forget how critical these are to success. We aren’t wind-up toys. And we must refill our peanut butter jars so there’s enough to share when we’re down to the last few bites.

Three considerations for the week:

Until next time,

Tina